August 1: WOW.

Not to be a negative nelly, but this is not the post I expected to be writing. I'm normally not a pessimist, but after 8 months of negative ovulation tests, I didn't expect to have a positive one on the first round of Clomid.

Day 14 went, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. I called my doctor on Day 20 and asked "on what day do I consider this a failed cycle?" She told me to keep testing for three more days, it's in the realm of possibility that I'll still ovulate. She ordered a blood test too to have my progesterone levels tested, which I did yesterday, on Day 21. 

Yesterday morning, I had the blood test. I went home a noon and did an ovulation test. The test line was noticeably darker than previous tests. Whoa, but I thought it was a fluke. Not a positive test yet, but noticeably darker. I took a picture of the test so I would know what it looked like to compare the evening test to it.

So, yesterday evening, I tested again, around 6:45. The test was even darker! I was excited at this point because wow, COULD I BE OVULATING SOON?

So, I stayed up a little late to test again around 10:45. BIG FAT POSITIVE! (picture below)

Wow. Wow. Wow.

I guess I've been stuck in the mindset of "must get my body back to functioning normally" that to now have a positive OV test... it's crazy! Now instead of getting my body back to normal, I can switch gears and start actually thinking about CONCEIVING.

Of course, all of this is hopeful. There are still many other things that can go wrong, and our chances of conceiving each month (since I'm 31.5) are still only about 15% (which is normal). But still. WOW!

July 18: Clomid Day 3

Clomid is going well(ish) so far. I felt very nauseated the past two mornings, but I ate something first this morning before taking the pill and felt much better this morning. In the evenings, I'm EXHAUSTED.  So very strange. I'm not used to coming home and being completely drained.

Two more days of Clomid and then ovulation tracking begins. I ordered new strips and little cups from Amazon-- total came to under $30, which was nice.

I very much hope this cycle works. I'm having a hard time remaining optimistic but not putting all my hopes on this cycle (since I'd be crushed). I know many couples try for many more months than just 8 months, but after 8 months of issues, it'd be pretty darn nice if the end of month 8 produced a positive pregnancy test.

July 16, 2013: Clomid, Day 1

This morning began day 1 of Clomid. I am excited and hopeful, and trying to remain optimistic. I also don't want to over-expect either. I know, for many people, it does not work the first time or the first round of Clomid. Still, I'm optimistic.

I'm also hopeful that the Clomid will help to regulate me. Even if this cycle doesn't result in pregnancy, I think it will be a partial victory if my cycle starts around when it should. To have gone 8 months after birth control ended but only had 4 periods (the fifth brought on by Provera), it will be very nice to have that more regulated so things can move a little bit faster (no more waiting 50+ days between cycles, hopefully... 28 days or even 28-35 days would be great!).

So, here we go. I also ordered another package of ovulation strips. I'm hoping that life will say "ha ha" to me for buying the big package (50 ovulation strips) by having this first round be successful, me getting pregnant, and having 30 leftover strips. :)  I know, I know, the likelihood is low, but one can still hope, right?

July 12, 2013: Provera Success!

The Provera worked (meaning I also successfully rocked the "Provera Challenge", which should mean that nothing else is wrong with my system-- just a hormonal imbalance, knock on wood), and I finally had a period.

Weeks of cramping, bloating and breast tenderness.
Followed by two pregnancy tests to confirm I wasn't pregnant.
Followed by 10 days of Provera to stimulate a period.
Followed by 4 days of spotting (FUN, right?)
Finally followed with a very heavy period!

I may never complain about my period again. Truly.

So, July 16 it is: Clomid starts! Day 5 of my cycle.

Late June, 2013: No period

Come day 40 of my cycle, I contacted my doctor about stimulating a period to begin. She agreed and put me on Provera, a drug which will jump start a period (and is often used in conjunction with Clomid anyway). Ten days on Provera should produce a period within 3-7 days.

I had been feeling for quite a while like a period was coming, but after weeks of PMS symptoms and no period (heavy bloating, light cramping... and no, I was not pregnant), I was ready to get this party started and try with Clomid. So Provera it was!

Mid-June 2013: GYN Appointment

At my new gynecologist appointment (a mere 4 days after getting the wrong results from my GP, whom I had been referred to by my inept nurse practitioner in early April), I was pretty honest. Here's pretty much what I said:

Look, I'm not trying to be pushy or impatient. But, I've had two blood tests now where I'm not ovulating. I've never had a positive ovulation test (more on that in another post). None of the other signs (mucus, etc) have ever been positive. I don't think I'm ovulating. That's not me worrying about it, that's just me looking at the facts. I don't want to wait the requisite "year of trying before seeking help" if I know that trying to get pregnant will not be effective. That's like telling someone to drive somewhere but they don't have a car. No matter how hard they try, they're not going to get there by driving. I want to be cautiously proactive here. I don't want to waste more months.

The GYN did an exam (I hadn't yet had my annual, so we were able to do some annual stuff associated with the appointment for insurance purposes). She then discussed my options.

• Wait and do more progesterone blood tests, though since it had already been 14 months since my majorly hormonal birth control was removed and 6.5 months since my Mirena was removed, it likely wasn't going to have a major change from my body normalizing (since that normalizing should have already happened), OR
• Be put on Clomid, a drug which specifically treats women who are not ovulating due to hormonal imbalances (me... at least, we hope there's nothing else wrong).

I decided that since I'd waited a while since the birth control removal and had a lot of cycle problems and then two blood tests indicating I was likely not ovulating, CLOMID WAS THE WAY.

The doctor told me that I would start Clomid on day 5 of my next cycle (my appointment fell on day 27 of my cycle, so hopefully, that wouldn't be too far off). I would take one pill every morning per day, from day 5 to day 10. Thereafter, I would monitor and note my LH levels using ovulation kits which predict ovulation. She also told me the Clomid may/should help in regulating my cycle length. 

So now, the wait was on to start my next cycle....

Mid-June 2013: Second Blood Test Results

I got the second blood tests back on June 11, after the blood test was taken three days before. I was anxious, but I had calmed myself down and prepared myself that the tests would be low and prove, once again, that I had not ovulated.

I got the phone call from my GP's nurse practitioner early in the morning. She was bright, cheerful, and gleefully told me that my results were "NORMAL!!!" I was shocked and ecstatic. I confirmed that she mailed me my results and then proceeded to have a gloriously happy day. I was normal. My body was ovulating. I could do this!

When I got home, I looked at the results.

The nurse practitioner told me the wrong results. I wasn't normal. My progesterone was .72, which was even LOWER than it had been last time (remember, normal = above 10). It was even on the low end for the early phase in my cycle, which, for normal people, is between a 1 and 5. I was FURIOUS.

I called the nurse practitioner back first thing the next morning. You could tell that she didn't know what was going on and how to read the results because she started fumbling.

Finally, she recommended me to another doctor, a new Gynecologist!  Thank goodness.

This doesn't take away from the fact that I was LIVID. It wasn't like I was getting some innocuous test results back. I wanted to know if my body was naturally doing what it should, which would greatly impact my ability to have children. Of COURSE I wanted results that weren't screwed up!

I immediately called the new doctor and made an appointment. Crazily enough, I was able to call on a Wednesday and get an appointment for Friday. Whew. Finally feeling proactive.